One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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