I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
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I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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