3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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