Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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