He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
