She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
