Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
