i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
