Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
