benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
