The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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