Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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