She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And then my night got REAL pukey
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
