this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i drank out of a bidet.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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