I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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