I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
