I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
