I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
