He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize