She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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