you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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