Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
