so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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