Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
