I could have mohawked her pubes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
