kristin has been a bad kristin
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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