You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize