So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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