Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
