I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
