I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
