Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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