Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
