the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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