Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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