Pappa wants mamma naked
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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