i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
