god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
