this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
