my mouth tastes like poor choices
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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