Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
