I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
