First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
