i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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