I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
