what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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