the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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