it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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