the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
