like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
