Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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