the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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