I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
