Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i think im in europe. pls send help
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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