Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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