You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
