Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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