doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
