There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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