do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
