is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
