My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
