Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
