If you die in college, do you die in real life?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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